When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly she asked me to bring her a few items from home. One item on her list was "comfortable underwear."Worried I'd make the wrong choice asked, "How will I know which ones to pick?""Hold them up and imagine them on me," she answered. "If you smile, put them back
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind".The pastor shouted out "CROSS".Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS".The pastor hollered out "GRACE".The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound".The pastor said, "POWER".The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD".The Pastor said, "SEX".The congregation fell into total silence.Everyone was in shock. They all! nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES".
One day, Sadie and Rose are talking about men. "I have a question for you," says Rose."So ask it already," says Sadie."OK," says Rose. "If I meet a stranger at a party and I think that he's attractive, do you think it's OK to ask him straight away whether he's married?""No, certainly not," replies Sadie, "you should wait until morning."
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.""My dear," the shrink said, "that
Good jokes-Heart attack
Ada was slowly recovering from a heart attack. "Doctor," she pleaded with her cardiologist, "you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild's bar mitzvah.""We'll try," he replied compassionately.In due course Ada gratefully attended the festive rite of passage.Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. "My granddaughter is to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding.""We'll do our best," he replied.Ada happily attended her granddaughter' s wedding.Ten years passed. Ada visited her cardiologist regularly and followed his instructions religiously.One morning she called him. "Doctor," she began, "I'm feeling fine, but I have another request to ask of you Remember how you saw me through to my grandson's bar mitzvah?""Yes.""And later how you helped me attend my granddaughter' s wedding?""Yes.""Well, as you know I've just celebrated my 80th birthday. And I just bought myself a new mattress.""Yes?""It has a 20-year guarantee... "